Because He's God, not because it's $100!

PRAISE THE LORD!!

my mom called me today and told me that a friend of ours handed her $100.00 for her to give to me. This woman who gave the money is just a kind hearted woman anyway, but the Lord has used her over and over again in my life to provide for me. When My mom told me, I cried. God is providing for me, and everything is going to be okay.

I can trust my God to take care of me. It's beyond parental trust now. This new aspect of trusting the Lord is scary and wonderful at the same time.

I'm not just happy because it's a good amount of money. It's the fact that God is leading people to provide for me. WOW. In Church on Sunday Night, the preacher was preaching on fully relying on God and depending on him for your needs. He also mentioned the fact that so often times we pray, get our prayer answered, and then go on to the next request. We don't stop and think, "wow, I have a God who cares enough to provide for me beyond what I could even ask for." So many times I've missed out on the character of God behind His giving. God forgive me for taking Him for granted!

THE BEAST!!!!

This was the eight legged beast lurking in the dark crevice on the first Sunday morning here in Tigerville, South Carolina!! 6 inches away!!! I tried to get a good picture, but I could only imagine this mean spider screaming and jumping all over my lense. Yeah...i know, drama majors, ha! So I just now got around to d-loading the pic. on my comp. Deal with it.

Speaking of drama majors, let's talk about me for a sec. I am now cast to be in a student directed one act this semester! I'm super excited for the experience. One of the original cast members dropped out, and the director wants to give a newbie a chance. So here I go!! I have no idea what the play is about, and I'm way too busy anyway,...but I couldn't say no to him!! I'm in a directing scene for my roommate, and also acting class. There is lots of memorizing going on right now. I'm excited about the challenge...kind of!?

So the Lord answered a prayer of mine this week. I am praying for money to be able to go to New York City in January with a group of people from here. We will go and stay in Times Square and see Broadway Shows!!! What an experience!? We will also get the chance to talk to some Christians who are in the business in NYC. My dad called me yesterday and told me that a person at my church just decided to donate some money to me. MY LORD BLESSED ME WITH 225.00!!!! Now, that's about a third of the cost for the trip, but it's such a beautiful start in funding and faith.

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So I went to BJU to have a wonderful reunion with my friends. It was so nice. Actually,...I was there on Saturday, but Friday night was spent downtown. This is why we are friends:

Drab

auditions were tonight.

I went.

I audtioned.

I was not cast.

Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. I'd love to be in a play where I would be able to be stretched in my abilities, but I'm kind of waiting for my big break, you know? Something to let me know that I have a flair for an area in theatre. I have no idea ,really. I like to be creative and original, and I love trying to make others feel what I'm feeling. I suppose those are good things. I'm not depressed because I know that God knows what I can handle and what is good for me, but maybe disappointed is the better word. I'm disappointed, but not in despair. The One Act plays have not put out their cast lists yet...so there is still a chance to be cast, but ...... prolly not.

rain

I longed for it to pour down rain tonight. It didn't. I wanted to stand in the rain and just release all of my worries for tomorrow. The Bible says "...sufficiant unto the day is the evil thereof." I got a bit overwhelmed today with physical and mental weariness. One day I will stand in the rain and enjoy it! What a beautiful release!!

Why is it that I can easily wish for rain, but at times it's easier to release to the rain rather than God? Sometimes I think God just feels, "Well LEah, you created your situation. Deal with it! Suck it up and go on." I think He wants us to be realistic like that, but for some reason I always leave out the other half where He'll let me crawl up in his lap and comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be okay.

VICTORY!!

I have chosen my topic for my first play analysis for Theatre History!! We had to do it over Midieval,Greek, or older Enlish drama. I am doing it over "The Second Sheperd's Play." I first read this play last year at BJU in my drama class. I really like it. I'm very excited!! Now I just have to pick a topic to write a 3,o00 word report about!?!?!? I also need to pick a topic to present a report to the class. It's supposed to be about 15 min. So yeah...Theatre history is def. interesting.

I have an hour to just be. This is nice. I have classes all day today. Espanol from 4-5:15 and then Music Appreciation from 6-8:45. Dear me. BUT i have picked out my two monologues to do in Acting class. This makes me happy!! I hope I picked good ones.

I have resolved to buy a Greenville Map.

Theatre auditions are tomorrow. Honestly, I'm not going into it expecting to get a part. I'm just not a great actor!? I think it's fun, but there are so many talented people here that I'll do well to just learn from watching. I'm kind of nervous, but mainly I just want to show Dr. Savidge and Mrs. Phillips that I'm willing to work hard to improve. I will be performing the same monologue that I auditioned for a scholarship for earlier this semester. I will be attempting to perform in Iambic Pentameter!! YAY...? Yes,..about that hour to myself!

Revelation

The Lord hit me with something yesterday. Certain events happened to make me realize that as Theatre Major, I am not to be more tolerant of sinful issues, I need a clearer stand. See, in all honesty, I was under the impression that Theatre majors really can't have very strong convictions because of the industry. Oh, was I mistaken!! It's like the Lord turned on the light bulb of my brain yesterday and said, "Leah, if you are going to be what I want you to be in this profession, you are going to be stronger instead of weaker in your convictions." It was so humbling to think that I am going to need the Lord to take the wheel, in the words of Ms. Underwood from OKLAHOMA!! It's very exciting. I can't wait to see how the Lord leads me. It's scary too. Not everyone agrees with me.

Pressure Pimple Pops

Okay, for some reason, the sickening alliteration represented in the title really appealed to me! : ) Today I talked to my advisor about whethere the dept. here has a performance track vs. a technical theatre track. I was worried about having to declare a certain area of expertice. I don't know what that area is yet, so ...yeah. The program here helps doesn't give you any pressure on what part to study. you study what you like, and then figure out what you are good at, and then choose which classes to take from there. There isn't a set course schedule that you absolutely have to adhere to. I was so excited about that!! Almost all of the pressure I was feeling just dissapated(spelling?) with that knowledge!! YAY!! I'm just here to learn theatre. I will live it, breathe it, build it, design it, speak it, and pay for it! I'm looking forward to this new adventure.

I've been given some excersises to help me pronounce my "S" sound better. It's just a bit too airy. So i'll be working on that for awhile. I'll also be working about 14 hours at least every week in the theatre program. I'm doubling my practicum load because I missed my freshman practicums last year. That means I'll be doing 6 hours of class work in theatre outside of class. I'll also be doing 8 more hours of work study every week. I'll def. be busy doing things! On top of these things, I'm going to be looking for a church home. Dr. Savidge and I had a wonderful talk today about the various levels of people spiritually. Bob Jones kids usually have been doctrinated out the wahzoo...if you will...and are pretty serious about their walk with the Lord. I'm speaking in general here. At NGC, you don't have the mainstream of kids that have grown up in regimented churches w/ absolute doctrines. They are still searching. So I'm wanting to find a balance in my church. I know I need that spiritual fellowship. I've already noticed how I long to just talk about God and scripture with the people here. IT's just different. So I'm using the word "So" so much that it's becoming frustrating to type. So I'm going to stop so that I can go to lunch. So that's it.
.....sew......

Too good to mention

I wanted to post about what a good day yesterday was, but I was kind of scared that it would stop being so good if I mentioned it. Since yesterday is over, now I can talk about it.

My spirit was so hungry yesterday. I was so blessed in my devotions when I read about Job. I get so discouraged when a day goes by and I just can't seem to find God. And then I do what the last verse in Job 1 says. I "charge God foolishly." I ask God what he's thinking, and if He's really leading me or if it's all dependant on me because if it is I'm screwed! It was just a wonderful time. Then I went on to the service here on campus and was a bit disappointed. But the word of God was presented, and I did enjoy a few of the points.

Yesterday afternoon was full of various activities. I played some sand volleyball, rode in a hot air balloon, rode in a 1930 something convertible, went head first down this slip and slide thing set up on a hillside, and then went to the service. Now, I don't know anyone here, so I did these various events with strangers. That's a barrell of fun and all, but I was tired of it. I ended up going to the service alone, and I was just fine with it. It was outside. Praising God outside is a very personal thing for me. Back home I would go outside at night and sing praises to my God while looking at his beautiful starry night. Being outside and lifting my voice to the Lord envoked so much emotion. Then the preaching was just dead on. I loved it. There was no sugar coating of anything. The word of God was preached, and I soaked it up like a sponge. The funny part about the night last night was that a large, elderly man decided to get a little too full of the spirit during worship and ended up smacking his wife in the back of the head. Because of my miniscule maturity level, I laughed very much. I think I was the only one in the whole stadium to see it!! : ) It was great. I think maybe the Lord laughed too.

After the awesome service, there was an acoustic guitar concert put on by one of the music students here at school. Again, I was alone, but I was able to just enjoy every original aspect that this artist had decided to share with us at the concert. I loved allowing everything else to fade away and just enjoying his expression. This is why I like drama. yeah, it was def. a good day. No, I should say that it was a God day.

Today has been kind of nerve wrecking because school is about to start!!! I want it to start, but I'm nervous!! I'm just finishing up all of the details that I need to get worked out before I start classes. As much as I would love some fellowship with other believers, there is no reason for me not to have fellowship with my Father God.

Cursed!!

Enough with the dramtic "I don't know what to do with my life" posts! They are getting quite boring. This morning I woke up, looked directly 6 inches away from me to see a huge black deadly, poisonous spider looming in the crevice between my wall and my desk. It was waiting for the opportune moment to pounce on my face and suck the life right out of me!! NOT TODAY SPIDER!! After my initial shock and prolonged eye contact on the spider, I decided that I'd try to get a flip flop positioned just perfectly in order the smash the goo right out of him. I positioned the flip flop, but he caught on and dashed back into the darkness. OH NO SPIDER! I got my bug spray and sprayed so much of it in that crevice that I thought the corner of my desk might just dissolve. Then I stuck a pencil in the crevice and tried to get the lil' beast. Pretty sure I don't have a phobia of spiders or anything, but when they are some random black breed of arachnids that are populating my living space,...it gets personal. I'm scared that it will come back and get his revenge. ICK!

Not only do we have spiders, but I am currently treating 3 very inconveniently located ant bites. Yes, they found our trash can and came by the thousands. The bug spray made it's appearance again. They have also found their way into my bed. So of course, "don't let the bed bugs bite" really hits home as I wake up not knowing what new bites I'll have.

I got all of my clothes dried. What made them wet, you ask? My dad and I packed up my truck on the ONLY NIGHT that it decided to rain before I left Oklahoma. We didn't know it would rain, but the tarp was surrounding every opening that water could think to protrude through. APPARENTLY WE WERE WRONG. I get to SC two days later to find, as I unpack, that EVERY single article of clothing that I brought was damp or soaked with water. Some of my pctures were scarred for life, and I wanted to cry. I unpacked all of my clothes into the dryers instead of my drawers. EVERY PIECE OF CLOTHING!!! AAHHH!!

This is the way I live life. : ) But I love it. Is it scary/inconvenient at times? sure, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

This morning I read of Job's attitude in my devotions. This paragraph is taken from my devotional book: G. K. Chesterton, writing on the experience of Job, says, " But God comforts Job with indecipherable mystery, and for the first time Job is comforted. Eliphaz gives one answer, Job gives another answer, and the question still remains an open wound. God simply refuses to answer and somewhere the question is settled. Job flings at God one riddle, God flings back at Job a hundred riddles, and Job is at peace. He is comforted with conundrums." I loved this idea that we can have peace even in mystery. Selah.

Throw Up

That's what I feel like doing. I auditioned for a theatre scholarship today. I am starting to feel like I don't want to act. There are so many little details and techniques in acting. I have no idea about any of them. I'm so confused. When I auditioned at BJU I had no idea how to act/interp a piece. I did it anyway, and was told that I was too dramatic. I needed to be more reserved. So I took that with me to this performance and was told that I needed more gestures and to bring more life to it. AHHH!! The faculty knows their stuff. I'm very grateful for that. But I know nothing about theatre anything. sigh. Time, right? I just need time? Dear me... I just need to pray. Majoring in Music keeps creeping into my thoughts and heart. I just don't know. I'm a bit confused.

Road Trip

I leave tomorrow to embark on a very unknown journey. I'm scared to death!! When it comes to theatre, i have no confidence at all! I have a passion for it, but I don't have any significant training yet. I'm just nervous about learning it and all that goes with it, including my strengths and weaknesses. Here's what I keep coming back to:

I knew before College began that I wanted to pursue 1: music 2: theatre 3: interior/fashion design. I was more passionate about performing for people. Neither 1 nor 2 provide a luxurious living for most. BUT that's what I feel the Lord has for me. I'm going with 2 right now and praying that the Lord will direct my steps. I know he will because he promised to do so. I just need to pray for confidence right now. Although, the only confidence that I have is that He is with me. Maybe I'll find out that that's all i need?

$5 Reminder

Two stories diverged in a post. And I ....I chose them both*sinister laughter*!

Today a friend asked me to lunch. This was a good plan except for the fact that I'm broke until I start getting paid at school for work study. I told my mom that I was going to eat lunch at home and then meet my friend at the restaurant to just talk and sip on some water. She wouldn't hear of it and gave me the money. Money is tight right now, and I didn't want to take her money. I did take it though.
My friend and I arrive at the best Chinese place in town and are about to walk in when something caught my eye. As it turns out, I was walking between the right two cars because there was a $5 bill lying on the ground. I looked around to see if anyone was there, bent down to pick it up, and rejoiced! How awesome was that of the Lord to do? Did I stop in my car and pray that God would send money from Heaven and help me today? NO! BUt God did it anyway!! This is so comforting as I'm about to leave for school. I love how the Lord reminds me of his provision when all I can see is the lack of my own ability to provide. Praise the LORD!

After this wonderful happening, I was enjoying my favorite noodle, lo mein, in the restaurant. I had a big wad of noodles piled on my fork and was about to take a bite when something caught my eye. I looked at my fork to find a deep fried FLY gooped to the noodles. I just froze. It was unreal! I just stared at it, and then told my friend. Then we both froze, stared at the fly, looked at our plates, and then stared some more. I told the restaurant manager about it, and she apologized. I didn't make a huge fuss because these things happen. I don't know if I can say that they didn't want the flies in there...but I can't say that for sure! : ) It makes for a good story and a good time to stop eating!

Cosmetology School and other Rambling

I'm restless tonight. I've gotten to the point where I'm just kind of sick w/ anxiety. Not so much that I'm dreading leaving home or anything truly worrisome, but the fact that I'm travelling into the unknown has subtlly taken residence in my stomache. Only three more days of this stage of it, and then I'll at least be there! YAY!! This post will be filled with wonderful things that should have been replaced with sleep!


HAHA...yeah. I have thought about going to cosmotology school before, but I don't really want to do it as a main profession. I got the opportunity to do my friend's hair for a wedding she was going to be attending. I enjoyed it. Of course along with the hair comes the make-up!! Sigh...good times.

My cat is psychotic. We've had a problem with her biting us and basically being on attack mode all the time. I think she's ADHD. She attacks for 15 minutes, sleep for awhile, and then She's right back to attack mode. By using deductive reasoning, we decided that the cat was starving. She won't eat dried cat food. She'll only eat something with Meat!! So in order to save our flesh, we went and bought her some canned food. Guess what? It's working so far!!

These are my friends at church. I'm the only regular college age girl that attends church regularly. It's funny how that works out sometimes. My old church was seriusly lacking males, but this one seems to have the opposite "problem" if you could call it that. I suppose it's nice for me! : ) They are all good guys. I'm the newbie in the group, so I've got to work hard to "be one of the guys." But growing up with 4 brothers is helpful at times! Okay...i'm rambling.

When the rambling begins...it is indeed time to retire.

Ghetto Girl

For those privy to the Barbie girl song, I hope you appreciate this rendition to express how I feel tonight. If you have no idea what i'm talking about....good for you.

I'm a ghetto girl, in a ghetto world,
where bling bling is now the cool thing
you can KEY MY CAR
and even STEAL MY TIRE........(pronounced TAR.. This is how Oklahomans say Tire)

This song was spawned by the recent vandalism done to my poor truck. The song says car, but it's a truck. First it was keyed a few weeks back. It legibly has the word CRIP on it. Pretty sure I'm going to get shot soon. Maybe I should go and key the word Bloods on the other door of my truck in order to even out the odds.

Now, by taking the truck to a mechanic, we've discovered that one of my tires was STOLEN and the thief replaced it with an older, smaller tire. I knew the truck was driving rough at times, and it veered to the right very sharply when i let go of the wheel. I just thought the truck was old, you know? I thought maybe it just didn't drive very smoothly. I was SO mistaken. I never look at my tires, so I wouldn't have noticed!! I'm gonna be honest here: It's a bit troubling to have all of these things happening to my vehicle, but I was just thanking the Lord today as I realized all the possibilities that could have happened due to the bad tire. I'm so glad my dad took it in before I go to SC. I leave in exactly 7 days. whoa. *deep breaths*

What more is there to say?

My flesh and my heart faileth: But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26