Pillow Talk

1. I have an interview at Wal-Mart later today....in about 8 1/2 hours. I'll admit that I'm very nervous because it's not going to be a pretty thing to deal with jerky customers. I don't know....for some reason I am almost dreading it! But I need a job, and unless I want to travel an hour to and from work, this is what I've got to work with. The Lord provides, and He'll not give me anything that I cannot handle. It's just that I went to Tulsa today and saw a wicked awesome shoe store that was hiring. I also saw this place that is nothing but accessories that is hiring. Cha...talk about a girly dream job! Too bad they are just too far away.

2. Looks like I won't get to go to Louisiana this summer. I'm kind of bummed because I was going to get to spend some wonderful time with my lil' brother of 10 years as well as see some good friends of mine. With my job process being started and our finances, My dad has vetoed the trip. I'll miss the fellowship.

3. So I tell my dad about North Greenville and he asked me if I have given up on going to Cedarville. I have not given up on it at all. I'm praying that the Lord will provide the finances to allow me to go, but I'm also trying to make plans if the Lord doesn't allow me to go there! It's kind of a fine line I think. I have faith that God will provide, but I don't know if Cedarville is a "need" or not. It would be wonderful to attend, but maybe there is another school that would be a lot more affordable. My dad has told me that we cannot afford Cedarville, but my admissions counselor from there was supposed to be finding out if they had any more theatre scholarship money. So my dad is holding out for that. It would have to be around $6,000. I know that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, but is it wrong for me to make other plans besides Cedarville? Where is the line between faith and reason? Cedarville is my "dream school," but God is not a genie.


4. My grandfather is quite depressed. He has scerosis of the liver and is dying. He has no will to live!! We went to visit him today, but he just seemed so helpless. He is not even trying. It's so depressing to be around him now. I hate seeing him like this because this diagnosis has changed him. I don't know how much longer he has. I just want to yell at him to at least be strong for me! Be strong because no one wants to see him die, but there is nothing to be done! I want to tell him not to stop living until he's dead!!! It's hard for us to deal with it when he doesn't. I'm reminded of an "Our Town" paraphrase of mine(i don't have the book on me):

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it, every, every minute?!"