I'm venting my frustrations tonight.
Truth: I'm scared to death about going to a new school. I was talking to the director of the theatre dept. at NGC and he told me about auditioning for scholarships and plays. To tell you the truth, that scares me to death. HA! The theatre student....scared to audition!?!? Now if that isn't irony at its best! I feel so intimidated by anything cultural. I never had any kind of exposure to it in high school, and I just feel kind of innadiquate for everything. But, I love the idea of possibly transforming lines in a script/a plain performance hall so much that the audience member is drawn out of their reality even for a second. That's what I like about theatre. But I'm so nervous and scared. I'm driving there. It's 17 hours. I'm nervous.
Truth: I'm torn between majoring in Music vs majoring in Theatre. I love music. I just knew I didn't want to spend every minute of every day practicing the piano!! but I love to sing. I'm hoping and praying that the Lord will show me what to do this year. I want to be involved with music and drama. When I arrive at NGC I'll be a theatre major with a music minor. The problem lies in the fact that there is no steady career in either profession unless you are teaching. I don't want to teach it. I want to DO IT!! I'm confused.
Truth: I will not be able to afford a computer before returning to school. I feel so depressed in knowing that all of my precious time spent at Wal-Mart is def. making money, but not enough money to get a comp. for school. That was my goal for the summer, but there is too little money in not enough time to make it happen. I'm discouraged. There may be a possibility of getting a comp. from my brother though. It's all up in the air right now.
Truth: There is so much to do in order to try and get ready to go to NGC. I leave in about a month. I'm trying to figure everything out, but I can't. Guess what? I need a job when I get there. I don't know if the student work program will be enough hours to make enough money. oh dear. See, this is the part where I look back on how God took care of me at BJU and say to myself, Leah Thomas, get over it!!!! GOd is going to take care of me! WHY DO I GET SO WORKED UP ABOUT IT!?
I'm losing my mind, or maybe that's the problem. I'm finding too much mind and too little faith.
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2 comments:
TRUTH: GOD is there, leading and holding you with His right hand. His right hand mind you. not His left. *you* get the hand of honor. what's more amazingly truthful than that?
we will miss you though.
truth: no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11
yeah, L...uh...diggity, :-) we will definitely miss you...who will walk from class with me and laugh? i'm probably taking DP class again, so that's gonna rule...all the more insanity to spread!
"oh, a band of gypsies called...they want their shoes back." :-)
seriously though, trust me, I know what uncertainty is like, 'cuz I'm there...keep walking, keep trusting, keep praying. God is always certain.
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