Plethera of Feelings, from the girl.

Currently: listening to "INDEPENDENT." Yup. It's a rap song that I like.

Awkward Moment of the Night: I was over at my friend's house and I felt something tickling my leg. It was under my jeans, so I assumed it was just the jeans crumpling in a weird angle. I re-adjusted. 2 minutes later, I felt it again. I thought I was going crazy, but then I re-adjusted the issue again. For the third time, I felt the tickling, but this time it was slowly, but definitively crawling up my leg. I didn't know what to do! I decided to grab the material around the tickling. When I did this, I felt something hard underneath. Yes, something was apparently trapped within my grasp. I wanted to scream, but instead I let go of my grip and shook my leg furiously. All of the sudden, at the bottom of my pant let, a beetle like creature came out and flew away. It was like the coolest magic trick in the world! I have NO clue how a beetle somehow got in the position of crawling up my knee, but it was kind of cool when it was making its escape. In a way, I wish someone would have seen it because it really was a glorious moment. Of course, no one saw it. That's not how moments in my life work. I love take pride in seeing and enjoying what no one else sees.

Troubling Moment of the Day: Receiving a message on facebook from a brother who doesn't stay in contact. The message was asking about me and a guy that is in some pictures with me on facebook.After not really being a part of my life, he asks, "Are you and that Stephen* guy hitting it?" My Christian brother asked me if I was "HITTING IT" with this guy!?!? I was apphauled, and it still ticks me off. After I confronted him with the inappropriateness of his comment, he said that he was just being an older brother and looking out for me. Cha. Whatever.

None of them know me at all.


*name has been changed


Unresolved: Family issues. Do you bring them up to search for resolution, or do you just pray for help to get over them? Is it beneficial to let people know how you really feel? Should I tell my dad that I did not like him at all growing up and thought he didn't love me until I was in college? Hmm.. maybe we'll just keep pretending like we've always been a happy family. I'm not given the luxury of not being okay with the way things happened in the past. My brothers really messed up and affected my home life, growing up. And it's like I have no right to not feel okay about it. According to my dad, I just cried about everything and was too sensitive, but he said it was good that I was genuine. I'm genuinely hurt, and I don't know how to deal with it at times. The only way I know how to deal with it is to cry, and clearly, that's not acceptable. I'm trapped in this sensitive emotional blunder in my heart, trying to build a calice so I can talk about it, but not being able to harden my heart. I don't want a hard heart, but I can feel one coming on. Maybe everyone has these unresolved issues, and maybe I'm just saying that to make myself feel better. Anyway, there is no resolution for it right now or else it wouldn't be under the "unresolved" label. duh, Leah.