I bought a new tooth brush today. See, I've been stricken with influenza since Monday of this week. Being the Germophobe that I am, I saw fit to buy a new tooth brush that wasn't slathered in the infectuous bacteria that stemmed from my sickness. So I'm there in Wal-Mart staring at the endless amount of toothbrushes, wondering which one I should get. Of course, I have grown up in the dentist's chair and have been accustomed to using Oral B. But I couldn't help thinking that if I got another brand of toothbrush, I would commit molar suicide! Then it hit me that it didn't really matter the brand! After this revelation, I focused my attention on the shapes and amounts of the bristles. Hmm... do i get the ones with the criss cross bristles that look like they will just rip my gums right off? What about the ones that are just flat straight across rather than having an indention in the middle!?!? AAAAAHHHHH!!! WHy don't my teeth just fall out and rot right now!?!?! THEN I notice that the bristles come in medium soft, soft, and extra soft!! Maybe I should just use rocks to scrape the plaque off instead!?!?! These were the thoughts as I stared blankly at the toothbrushes. FINALLY I picked a style of bristle. Now I just had to pick the right color of gripping rubber that is on the brush handle. Lame, I know. After this tiring process, it was time to leave. whew.

I'm going to Oklahoma tomorrow. My grandpa died last night. He had scerosis of the liver, and I knew he wouldn't last long, but I got "the phone call" last night. My parents are kind of tight on money, so I feel like I shouldn't be flying home, but at the same time I feel like I need to be there. I'm trying not to feel guilty about it because i know my dad wouldn't do it if we couldn't, but it's just one of those things you know? I think my grandpa was a christian. He knew the truth for sure, he just had some issues he was struggling with, like all of us. I'm kind of handling it okay right now, but it'll be rough when I get home. Please keep my family in your prayers, especially my aunt who is in India and won't be able to come back for this.

I know God's timing is perfect. I'm always astounded to see how God takes care of me even when I neglect him. It's fall break this weekend and I'm with a second family who is able to help me through this tough time. It all worked out the best way possible, and I couldn't have planned that. Anyway, it's another day in the life of me.

In other words...

Sometimes when I'm all alone
I don't know if I can Take another breath
Some say home is where the heart is
Tell me where my home is
'Cause i'm scared to death


Falling from the rooftop
Crashing like a raindrop
Can you make my heart stop
Shaking like a leaf
Standing at the floodgate
Steady as an earthquake
Can you hear my heart break
Tearing at the seams

I am drifting in the deep end
Holding on to your hand
Is all that saves me now
Life can treat you like a beggar
You hold me together
But I don't know how


Falling from the rooftop
Crashing like a raindrop
Can you make my heart stop
Shaking like a leaf
Standing at the floodgate
Steady as an earthquake
Can you hear my heart break
Tearing at the seams

Some say home is where the heart is
And my heart is in your hands
You are all I need

Rising from the ashes
Lifting from the madness
Now you see my heart is
Deep enough to dream
Heal me from the deathblow
Lead and I will follow
Now you feel my heart glow
Mending at the seams

- Bebo Norman

HURT

I had a friend tell me that he couldn't be my friend anymore. First, he said that it wouldn't work because I live in Oklahoma and he lives in Houston. Well, He lives in Greenville now!! I said that I'm in Oklahoma twice a year and spend most of my time here. Then he said that he knew me too well to be my friend. "I know your dad and your brothers," was his excuse. He said that he doesn't like hanging out with me, but he likes me. He says, "Truthfully, being around you doesn't make my day. I don't go away thinking, Yay! I saw Leah today. It's just a , oh, there's Leah kinf of thing. Then he tells me not to take it personal and start having some girly cry fest over it. He tells me this in Wal-Mart btw. Previously to all of this, we were talking about church and meeting people. I'm having some issues with pushing my way into meeting others. He told me that he hopes I'm not depending on him to introduce me to friends at church and that I need to do it by myself.

I just stood there, paralyzed. I wanted to scream and cry, but I couldn't do it until i left Wal-Mart because as he left Wal-Mart, he looked at me and grinned, like he knew he tore me up. I don't know.. I lost it. See, He is in direct rebellion from the Lord. We've discussed it, but I didn't think that there was friction between us. We had a good 2 hr. conversation about life and God and where we are both at. I didn't suspect anything, but now it's like we have had a friend break-up and quite frankly, It tore me up tonight. I need help, please pray for me.